Good King Cookery

I am about to post the first installment of a book project I have been working on for awhile.  This installment introduces the young Prince Jack, who later grows up to be Good King Cookery, a king who rules his kingdom entirely through cooking.  I am hoping this will eventually be a series of books, one that starts when Prince Jack is very young and goes on to show him grow up and eventually become Good King Cookery.  Then there will be additional stories about Good King Cookery ruling his kingdom. The books, I think, will be either middle readers or somewhat simpler chapter books.  Probably not early readers though, because I don’t like their format.  Please enjoy the first installment of Good King Cookery, and remember, please let me know in your comments what you like about the installment and how I can make it better!

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Happy News

Great news, people!  My first ever publication will be on January 15, 2013!  I will post a link after that date!

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Something Else Child-Haters Do

  1. You can probably tell from my list of insulting names that in my opinion, child-haters have to think children stink, just like the title characters of Roald Dahl’s “The Witches.”
    1. Here are some examples from the movie version of this book:
      1. All the witches holding their noses and waving the smell away when Bruno Jenkins comes into the room.
      2. This quote by the Grand High Witch: “Before you go down to the dining room, don’t forget your nose plugs.  The dining room will be full of filthy little children, and without your nose plugs, the stink will be unbearable!”
      3. These quotes by the witches when they smell Luke: “Ugh!  The smell!”  “Oh, yuck!  I smell it as well!”
      4. The Grand High Witch sniffing the air and shouting, “She’s right!” when she smells Luke.
      5. The Grand High Witch holding her nose and pretending to play with a baby, then pushing his stroller down the hill.
      6. This quote by Luke’s grandmother: “To me, you smell of raspberries and cream!  But to a witch, you smell absolutely disgusting!”
      7. Then Luke smiles and eagerly says, “What kind of disgusting?”
    2. Here are some of my related thoughts on “The Witches” and other child-haters:
      1. I adored “The Witches” as a child, and I still do as an adult.  However, I’ve always had issue with the fact that in both the book and the movie, witches are said to hate all children, but they are only ever shown saying boys are smelly and disgusting.
      2. We all know boys are smelly and disgusting.  I think that’s part of what their mothers love about them.  That’s why it’s much funnier when someone thinks girls are smelly and disgusting!
      3. That’s why I like Miss Hannigan.  She’s possibly even more repulsed by girls than boys!
      4. I also like Miss Trunchbull, because in the book, she says bad girls are far more dangerous than bad boys!
      5. As a child, my wish to have these witches talk about how smelly and disgusting girls are led to me fantasizing about saving my best friend, a girl, from the witches, and hearing them say how smelly and disgusting she was.
      6. This was especially funny since my friend was and still is one of the fussiest people I know, who always smells like she just came out of the shower.
      7. This is one of the reasons why I want to create child-haters who make it clear that they hate little girls at least as much as little boys.

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New Category

Hi All!  I have just started a new category on this blog called “Works and Ideas in Progress.”  Anyway, this basically means that this blog will now feature not only my completed works, but also whichever ideas happen to be bouncing around my head when I post them!

As some of you may know from my interview on “Jo’s World,” a Blogspot blog (here is a link to it: http://jolinsdell.blogspot.com/2012/10/get-to-know-writer-lily-stejskal.html), I am a very spontaneous writer.  This means that I write whatever comes to mind and am never sure what I’ll write when.  As a result, the posts in this category will always be a surprise for everyone, including me!

Right now I am focusing on creating child-hating villains for future children’s stories.  Having always been a favorite of mine, child-haters are villains I simply have to create!  To get people talking about them, I have posted a list of what these characters, in my opinion, simply HAVE to do in any story!  As you will see, these actions range from dark and sadistic to gross and hilarious!  When commenting, please feel free to add anything you think should be on this list or one of its sub-lists.  I will continue adding to it  as new thoughts come to mind.

Note: If you are unfamiliar with any of the child-haters mentioned on this list, I would recommend watching “Annie,” “Matilda,” “The Witches,” and “The Search For Santa Paws.”  Also, please be sure to read the book versions of “Matilda” and “The Witches,” because, as we writers know, the book is always better!

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Things Child-Haters Do

  1. What do child-haters absolutely HAVE to do?
    1. Destroy toys
      1. How can they do this?
      2. By twisting a doll’s head off
      3. By putting them in an incinerator
    2. What can make this extra terrible?
      1. The toy being a child’s comfort item
      2. The toy being a child’s only memory of his/her parents
      3. The toy being capable of coming to life.
    3. Punish children harshly and take pleasure in it
    4. How can they do this?
      1. By making them sleep in the basement
      2. By locking them in closets
    5. Hate all things good and nice
    6. Like what?
      1. Christmas.  Like the orphanage matron in “A Search For Santa Paws,” they can forbid anything Christmas related around the holidays, then call anything that magic, a kind supporting hero, or a child’s wit sneaks into the place “ridiculous” and/or a “mess.”
      2. Everything that makes little girls cute, like freckles and curly hair.  A child hater can want to rob little girls of these things until they are no long cute, cheerful little beings.  Like Miss Hannigan, they can want to “step on their freckles” and “straighten their curls.”  Maybe “chop of their pigtails” too, like Miss Trunchbull.
      3. All fun, colorful methods of learning like Miss Trunchbull.  The children and their nice teacher, just like Matilda, her friends, and Miss Honey, can hide all of these whenever the child-hater comes in.
    7. Taunt children about not being loved by their parents
    8. What if their parents are dead?
      1. Then the child-hater can taunt the children about never getting adopted like Medusa and the orphanage matron in “The Search For Santa Paws.”
      2. Then the child-hater can taunt the child about the death (or abandonment) or their parents being their fault.
    9. What if their parents are alive?
      1. Then the child-hater can say the parents are stupid or wrong to love them like Miss Trunchbull.
      2. Then the child-hater can try to convince the child that his or her parents don’t really love him/her, like the title character in “Hook.”
      3. Then the child-hater could tell the child how hard it is to believe that their parents would miss them if they were killed or taken away.
    10. Call children names
    11. Like what?
      1. All child-haters call kids “brats.”  Let’s think of something more creative!
      2. Foul, filthy, flatulent freak
      3. Tooth-picking toad-face
      4. Rat-kissing reek face
      5. Despicable, snickable stinkpot
      6. Worm-licking weasel beast
      7. Doo-doo eating dog breath
      8. Slug-slurping skunk bug
      9. Yucky, glucky oo-luh-rucky
      10. Fetid, flatulent piglet
      11. Putrid pig-slop pile
      12. Slime skinned stinker-bug

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Family

They’re the people I can always be near,

Even when I want to be alone.

 

They’re the people I can be myself with,

Even when I want to be someone else.

 

They’re the people I can tell how I feel,

Even when I’d rather keep my thoughts to myself.

 

They’re the people who will let me pretend,

Let me be alone,

Let me share my feelings,

Or keep them to myself.

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Pumpkins

Though blazing orange like fire,

We shield our scary sight.

We hide are funny faces,

Until it’s Halloween night.

A knife we see!  It comes close!

But frightened we are not.

We let you cut our hats off,

And take the seeds we’ve got!

We are not afraid

When we see you with that knife,

For when our hats are finally off,

We start a brand new life.

After you have carved us,

Our smiles and frowns, they show!

And when you see our faces,

Give us candles! We will glow!

Funny, scary, sometimes sad,

Whatever we may be,

Put us out on Halloween,

So everyone can see!

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Filed under Autumn Poems, Children's Poetry